Can You Really Get Dumped By Someone You're Not With?!?!

So in the wake of me reading non-stop for class these days I was supposed to be kicking it with this guy I knew. Now, we've known each other our whole lives and he's had a crush on me since we were like 6! So things started up this spring and were fine...we talked very little while I was gone over the summer. But I come home and find out I'm supposedly his girlfriend! Umm...don't you have to AGREE to be someone's girlfriend?? I mean...you don't just get assigned to a relationship last time I checked. So this Friday night we talk on the phone and he's all about how he really cares about me, loves me, is going to be a better guy, blah blah blah and we're going to spend more time together. And all of that is cool...who doesn't need a little TLC? Especially when your life revolves around studying and has limited social time.

But the kicker is that he calls me back later in the day (which would be saturday cause the first conversation was at like 6am after he got in from a party and home from the hospital - there was a fight and one of his frat brothers had to go get checked out) wait.......it wasn't a phone call....it was a long ass text message that reads:

"I've been doing some real thinking babe...its a lot goin on in my life right now and it not far to me or whateva relationship we have to continue to try and balance the too...I'm sorry for leading you or what not but its just some stuff I have to work out with me and old feelings I need to address, so I just want to be friends at the most now and maybe later this opportunity will present its selve again...But if not god bless..."

A. What the fuck?!?! What changed between 6am and 5pm?? And why couldn't you have just told me all this earlier.

B. Can you really get dumped by someone if they're not your boyfriend? I mean, how does that work?

C. Please note all the incorrect grammar and spelling in the message. I guess its anal, but he is in college.

D. How is it that him having to balance different aspects of his life is unfair to HIM? I mean, don't we all have to do that? And wouldn't him not having enough free time for me be unfair to ME?

E. Just so you know, when he says there's a lot going on in his life he means: he's distraught that he actually has to go to class now, is broke because he's too lazy to go look for a job, is sad that he doesn't have money to put gas in his car but managed to buy a new pair of Jordans this week ($120 at least), and how could he possibly balance anything else into his life when he has to manage to kick it with his bruhs (frat brothers) a minimum of 7 days a week and 6 hours a day.

F. Why add the God Bless? Is that supposed to make me feel better?

Needless to say...I was kind of hurt and confused at first...but then I was just PISSED! Why would this make sense? So my response was simple...

"Thank you for calling...oh wait, thanks for texting me what you could've told me hours ago on the phone...kiss my ass..."